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## Self Esteem: 8 Universal Laws

**Stuart Smalley’s Law**

Truly strong self-esteem has nothing to do with Stuart Smalley’s character on “Saturday Night Live.” Smalley was played by A1 talk show host Franken who looked in the mirror to think “You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and that’s it, people like you.” That’s not the namby-pamby-feel-good kind of self-esteem we’re talking about.

**The law of definition**

Self-esteem is one of those frequently used terms that we think we know the meaning of until we are asked to define it. Most people define it as how you feel. The problem is that feelings can and do change. The definition I’ve found most useful of self-esteem is: the strength and power of your belief in yourself.

**The law of ends versus means**

While working to increase your self-esteem, remember that it is only a means to an end, not an end in itself. I have known many people who have failed, and even people who continually do the wrong thing, and yet they feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is only a means to an end though increasing the quality of life, for yourself and those around you.

**company law**

Self-esteem is heavily influenced by the company you keep. Hang out with people who have low self-esteem and yours is likely to be low as well. And guess what? Hang out with people who have high self-esteem, and yours is likely to get stronger too.

**The law of blame and accusation**

I’ve heard so many people say “My self esteem is low because I’m too this/that, I grew up without this/that and this/that happened to me.” Which usually makes me wonder what a person who is too this/that, who grew up without this/that and lived this/that, DOES WITH THE REST OF THEIR LIFE?

**The law of action**

You can learn about self-esteem, read about it, attend seminars, etc., and nothing will change if you don’t do anything with what you learn. To change something, you just have to TAKE ACTION!

**NWBG’s Law**

Although NWBG may sound like the name of a rock band, it really is a quick and easy way to measure and improve your self-esteem. In vertical order, write the letters NWBG, which stands for Now-Worst-Best-Goal. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is the worst and 10 is the best), rate your self-esteem as it is. as if it was. This gives you a number next to each of the NWBG letters. If you’re like most people, now is the worst time. This gives us some important information:

How did you get from the worst to where you are now? The answers can be key to further boosting your self-esteem.

**The Law of Higher Mathematics**

Now we are going to do a little higher calculation in order to boost your self-esteem. Take your goal number (say 10) and subtract the number from it for now (say 4), so that’s 6. So that’s six self-esteem levels to travel, which is too big to that time.

Let’s make it manageable by taking it one level at a time. What small, simple steps can you start taking right away to go from a four to a five? And then a 5 to a 6, a 6 to a 7, and so on. You will be able to measure your progress as you go, and build your self-esteem fairly quickly.

How’s that for progress?

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