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Lessons From the Untethered Soul
After reading many of my books, blogs, and articles, you probably know by now that, like Michael Singer, I believe we’re trying to do something that isn’t working – we’re trying to find love, joy, happiness, etc out of ourselves. We are trying to control something that is not under our control: other people and the world around us. Everything we wish to experience is part of our inner landscape; they are not there somewhere to be found.
Singer in her book, The Unattached Soul, helps you explore your inner landscape, an activity that for me has been a journey of a lifetime. It begins by asking you to look at the self-concept and the inner dialogue you are having with yourself. Once you begin to reflect on and explore self-concept, you quickly realize that “…the concept of ‘self’ can turn out to be a bit more elusive than initially thought.”
As a human being, you have been both blessed and cursed with your ability to reflect on your way of thinking. The blessing is that it is in the world of your thoughts that you can control your experiences in life. The curse is that you’re probably looking to the world for specific experiences, and your inner dialogue acts as the judge of what’s going on around you. Breaking the barrier of this thought of the inner and outer world will free you from your perceived problems.
So how do you start doing that – you become intimately aware of your inner roommate – the voice inside of you. You recognize that your inner voice will never be satisfied and at peace, and you let go of the “I”. You recognize that – “Your consciousness is actually experiencing your mental model of reality, not reality itself.” When you see a problem, you stop asking, “What should I do about it?” and start asking, “What part of me is disturbed by this?” What part of me is ________ (jealous, angry, frustrated, irritated, etc.)? Singer says, “You can’t solve anything on the outside until you understand how the situation is affecting you on the inside.” For a man unfamiliar with Perceptual Control Theory (PCT), he’s captured one of its biggest lessons. Disturbance is an inside job.
Letting go of the inner judge and shifting your thought to what I like to call the balcony view immediately relieves stress. My good friend Andrea Christopher once described it this way – it’s like I’m the math problem, then I work on the math problem, and finally I watch myself working on the math problem. “You don’t have to think about it or analyze it; you can just be aware of it.” Doing this allows you to let go of the “I”.
From the balcony you allow yourself to “experience every note the heart can play”. You recognize that it’s all information and it’s up to you to silence the roommate and relax in the moment. Singer provided me with a more spiritual perspective on the PCT, which is a very scientific explanation of human behavior.
This book was like diving into the depths of the pool of my own soul. PCT with a spiritual touch. I liked it!
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