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The ADHD Parent-Teacher Conference
here are two parent/teacher meetings scheduled at the school my children attend. One is in the fall and the other is in the spring. If things go worse than expected, they schedule additional conferences. I don’t know any parents with ADHD children who look forward to the parent/teacher conference. OK, maybe no parent is looking forward to a parent-teacher conference, but when you have kids with ADHD, school is probably one area that still needs considerable improvement.
I’ve tried to take the pain out of ADHD parent/teacher conferences by trying to stay ahead of emerging ADHD issues. I asked their teachers to let me know about ADHD issues (or any other issues) as soon as possible. It makes no sense to me that a teacher is waiting for a lecture to report that your child hasn’t passed a vocabulary test since before Christmas. In the case of the school my children attend, this rarely happens, but it happens in other schools or with other parents with ADHD. So I think it’s prudent to let teachers know that you want ongoing communication in order to stay on top. the child’s progress or lack thereof.
There’s a thin line you walk here between masochism (seeking trouble) and pro-activism (solving problems before your child falls far behind). I have to admit that when I receive these emails or phone messages, I cringe. When I see the name of one of their teachers in my inbox, I secretly pray that one of them hasn’t committed an unforgivable offence. I’ve come to realize that these emails can be devastating, your child has sent another child to the ER, or they can be totally benign, they want juice boxes for a service project. I hold my breath until I read the whole email and rejoice when nothing terrible has happened.
This year, after my hyperactive/impulsive son was on medication for about 2 months, I got a nice note from his science teacher saying she noticed a huge difference in his schoolwork. It was so nice to receive this email, but I have to admit that since the news is usually not good, this email did nothing to ward off the feeling of dread that comes from seeing the name from a teacher in my inbox.
My mother rarely paid attention to what teachers said at parent-teacher meetings. I know this because I had to attend several. Her approach was one of complete trust in her children and complete distrust of anything teachers reported about their experience with her child. She once told Sister Rosario that she had to revise how she taught math because I could do my brother’s grade 10 math homework and she was failing me in grade 8 math. This did not sit well with Sr. Rosario and in March of that year Sr. Rosario suggested that I did not need to be admitted to the Catholic high school where all the other girls in my class went and that I could take my rebellious mom AND my 10th grade math skills in public school.
I respect my mother who defends me and I have to admit that if I were to deal with Sr. Rosario, I might have to behave the same way, but I think a more collaborative approach with teachers is probably, as far as academic advancement is concerned, more beneficial.
Spring parent/teacher conferences are coming soon. I wonder what good news we have in store.
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